Tuesday, 18 August 2009

Second Weigh In

So I had my second weigh in today, and I lost another 4.5lbs! This brings my total to 11lbs lost in 2 weeks, and more importantly takes me below 17 stone! I NEVER want to go over that again! I was worried at one point that I was going to hit 18 stone and I'm so glad that never happened!

I was fairly disappointed though, my leader didn't offer much encouragement, which is why I'm so glad I have the support of everyone from the WW forum and all my friends, I don't know what I'd do without all the kind words!

I'm also firing on all cylinders with the job applications at the moment as well, I've come to realise I just need to get my head down and fill them all in, there's no way around it, I need to focus on doing at least one application a day if I have any hope in hell of getting a job!

Friday, 14 August 2009

The fed ups

I'm not in a great mood at the moment, in fact I'm in a rubbish mood.

It's been 5 and a half months since I lost my job, and I keep thinking that mentally I can't get any lower than I am, but I still manage to sink further and further as far as my mood and sanity goes. I'm stuck in my house pretty much all the time, and I don't have any friends left any more to spend time with to take my mind off my life.

I have very little in my life worth living for, and sometimes I do wonder what the point is in carrying on.

Wednesday, 12 August 2009


I dunno what's up with me today, but I've just felt really tired and sluggish all day.

Went to the Doyle museum with dad and sis, so I suppose I've been out and about a bit more than usual, but I don't think that's why I'm so tired!

It's all a bit strange!

Tuesday, 11 August 2009

First Weigh In

So I had my first weigh in this week, and I lost 6.5lbs! I'm really chuffed! I was hoping to do well, and secretly thought I'd be happier with anything over 4lbs, especially considering the extra chocolates I'd eaten, I'm so glad I managed to lose! The last time I restarted Weight Watchers I gained on my first week and was so devastated that I had gained that I ended up crying for about half an hour, so I'm just really pleased!

I'm overwhelmed by the amount of support I've had from people on the WW board and on Facebook congratulating me, and it has really spurred me on! I'm really excited about next weeks weigh in already, and I can't wait to see how much I'll have lost next week. I'm hoping for 3lbs next week, I'd love to be down to 17 stone or even lower! I'm going to put some more effort into my exercising though, which will also help.

I've decided to post some pictures of myself, taken from the Boot Camp I did with some of the Gladiators from Sky 1. These photos were taken in June when I was at my heaviest, and I went to a training day with some of the Glads. I nearly died from the exercise, and it was at that point I decided that I didn't want to look like this ever again, and I started Weight Watchers the next day.

By the time I got to the second camp in July, I'd lost nearly a stone, and was feeling a lot more confident. But since then I have gained it all back due to my birthday and being a bit lazy, but I've started back again, and as I've already said, I NEVER want to look like that again.

Monday, 10 August 2009

Aerobics let down

I went to my aerobics class today, as usual, only to find that my usual instructor wasn't there, and we had someone else. She wasn't as good and focused more with toning exercise than actual aerobics, which frustrated me because I use aerobics as a chance to push myself physically, and always find I come home tired but satisfied, but today I really didn't feel I had the chance to push myself, and actually feel the need to do some more exercise at home, just to make up for it!

Other than that it's been alright today, my sis has come home from her weekend away and will be staying here until at least the end of the week. I love her to bits, but she winds me up a treat, I've never met anyone so selfish in all my life. I hope that we can get through this week without any major arguments!

Also getting excited/nervous about tomorrows weigh in, I'm secretly hoping for a big number but the last time I did that I ended up gaining, I don't know whether I could cope with that again!

Sunday, 9 August 2009

Trip to Portsmouth

So I went down to Portsmouth today with mum, firstly to look at the Sir Arthur Conan Doyle exhibition which I'm currently working on and then to Gun Wharf, hence the picture!
It was good to go to the exhibition with mum because it was another persons perspective on what is going on and what needs improving, in relation to the childrens activities and general interest. It's a lot of work to do, especially when I'm not being paid for doing it, but I'm hoping it will either lead to something permenant or at least be something good to put on my CV so I can get another job somewhere else. Either way it gives me something else to think about, which is the main thing!
Then afterwards we went down to Gun Wharf, mum was trying to convince me we needed cake with our tea, and then that we could hang around and have dinner, but I wasn't having any of it! I felt kind of guilty to turn down her offer, when she is technically still on holiday, but it seemed to me to be a bit of a waste of money, and I'm really trying to stick to this and need encouragement, not temptation!
Other than that it's been a good day, need to get on the stepper for a bit tonight though, to make sure I've lost as much as possible for my first weigh in!

Saturday, 8 August 2009

First blog!

Right so I've just set this up, I'm really hoping it's going to help me with my weight loss.

Like many I've tried and failed so many times before, but this time I'm hoping it's actually going to happen for me, I'm so fed up of failing at everything, I really want this to go right, I really want to get my life back again!

It's really not easy at the moment, what with having to live back at home with mum, which I don't mind most of the time but it gets frustrating living in Fareham, it's not exactly a very happening place, and sharing the car with her, which severely restricts my social life. That and the fact that I'm unemployed and can't seem to find a job anywhere at the moment, life really is a struggle, but I'm trying to forget it and focus on losing the weight, and hopefully the rest will all fall into place eventually.

Will it happen? Only time will tell!