Saturday, 15 May 2010

Feeling left behind

Yesterday I caught up with a few old friends. Firstly my friend Katie who I've known since I was at college, I went over to Portsmouth and met up with her. She's got a gorgeous little boy called Max, who is now 7 months old. I freely admit I feel so jealous! I'd love to have a little baby of my own, but it's somewhere that I'm really not within my life at the moment.

And then in the evening I went to my friend Toni's wedding. When I was at secondary school Toni was my best friend, we were thick as thieves for years! She was always very quiet though, whereas I was more outgoing, maybe because of my weight issues, I don't know. But in the last few years she's really developed and she's so confident and outgoing, and stunning to look at! She looked absolutely amazing, and her husband is really good looking, and I'm so pleased she's happy, she deserves to be, but I can't help but again be totally jealous.

Pretty much all of my friends have babies or husbands or partners and hardly any of them live at home, and then there's me.

I still live at home with my mother, I've been single for over 3 years and I'm not even close to being happy with my life.

I feel like my friends are all adults with proper lives and responsibilities and I'm no better off than I was back at school, still in pretty much the same situation.

Granted I've got the education not all of my friends have, but it hasn't really helped as far as getting a job is concerned, and I just feel useless.

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