WI Result 15/4/10

So this week I actually managed to lose some weight! I lost 1.5lbs, so now down to 16st 5.5lbs! I feel so good for actually having lost some weight for once, and for seeing the results of all my hard work! I'm just hoping I can keep it up, and that I managed to make another loss next week. I've been sticking to the diet, and trying to keep up with the exercise, so hoping for good things to happen!

I'm sort of worried that when I go back to work I'll end up losing my new found motivation to go to the gym, I really hope it won't, but the long hours and the stress of everyone getting to me makes me lazy. I guess I just have to fight through it and try and do as much exercise as I can, then once I get into a routine I should be able to do it a lot easier.

I found that I can still do 2 aqua classes on tuesday and thursday evenings and another on a sunday evening so I won't have to give that up, which I think will be a big help, I need something regular to keep me focused.

Excercising, Sneak peaks and pre weigh in jitters

So I'm on holiday this week, it's one of the perks of working in a secondary school, getting the holidays off. Last week my best friend Daniel came down and we had a good time, went to stay at a nice hotel in Bournemouth, and as we were on holiday, we ate pretty badly! Cooked breakfasts every morning, 3 course dinners in the evening, and lots of snacks! I decided that I was going to do that and then as soon as he'd gone, I'd draw a line under it!

I had a bit of a slack day on saturday but I hit the ground running and stuck to the diet from sunday morning, other than a bar of choc mum bought back, but I'd been to the gym and had about 10 points spare so I don't think it hit me too much. But since then I've stuck to it, weighed and counted everything, and I'm proud of myself for doing so, because I often struggle!

But, and I know I shouldn't, but I've been sneak peeking at my weight every morning, excited to see how much I've lost, and sadly the numbers aren't coming down like I was hoping.

Because I'm on holiday I'm giving it a major push with the exercise, I have the motivation to go to the gym because I'm not exhausted from work, and I'm pushing myself, whilst at the same tme sticking to the diet.

I'm really hoping for a loss this week, or at least an STS, I know I didn't weigh last week which will mess everything up slightly, and the fact I ate a lot on holiday still needs to be taken into consideration, but I've been struggling for weeks to lose anything, and I REALLY need a loss to get me back on track.

A few weeks ago I tracked and counted everything all week and went to the gym, but ended up staying the same, and I was crushed, especially because my mum managed to lose, it was only the second time I've cried at a WI, but I was really frustrated, and almost felt like giving up, and I'm worried that the same is going to happen this week.

I've also dropped my points as I'm not working so not so active during the day, and I'm really hoping for something good, I so need it this week! I've been stuck in this 16 and a half stone rutt for so long and I just want out of it!

Dating sites and other musings

So I've recently joined another dating site again, against my better judgement. I've had a bit of a love hate relationship with them over the years, when I was younger I relied on them, but that was when I was in the 14st bracket and about 18 and I looked a lot better than I do now!

The main reason I joined is because at the end of this month I'll have been single for 3 years, and that fact kills me. I've had flings ever since, but nothing serious, and nothing for the last 8 months, and when I was sitting with my best friend Daniel (pictured above) I realised how much I miss the closeness of having someone else and being in a relationship.

Now the main problem I have with dating sites is this: the first picture is the sort of picture I'd post on a dating site, and the second is a more realistic view of what I look like. Admittedly the top picture is about a year old but it's the best example I have of me being dolled up and taking pictures in more flattering angles. I don't know about anyone else but I personally don't want to put 'bad' pictures of me up, and therein lies the problem.

It makes for a bit of a dilema, if I put a realistic picture of me up I know nobody would even be interested, but if I put one of the better angled pictures up then I get men talking to me left right and centre, but I know inside I'm misleading them, and then when I get to meet them in real life and they see the real me, they are often disappointed and sometimes annoyed, and I can't say I blame them. It's frustrating when you meet someone in real life who is nothing like you thought they'd be.

But now I've been talking to a lovely guy from nearby, and he's asking to see more pictures (he's only seen the top one) and I'm faced with a choice. Part of me is thinking I should take some realistic pictures so he can see 'all' of me, but then if he rejects me I'm going to feel crushed, or I can keep stretching the truth and risk losing him if I ever met him.

I'm thinking maybe I should just give up with the sites again, until I've lost a bit more weight and feel more comfortable with my appearance, but at the same time I really want to meet someone, not necessarily in real life but just someone to talk to, to feel wanted and special, even if it's not in real life just yet.

The problem is I'd show him the real pictures and explain I'm in the middle of losing weight, but 9 times out of 10 a man wouldn't care about that, and I know it's true that if he can't like me for who I am he's not worth it, but at the same time the rejection is the last thing I need when I'm so lonely as it is.

I just don't know what to do any more, and I'm not really looking for answers from anyone, I just needed to get it all off my chest.

WI Result - 11/3/10

I lost again! Another 1.5lbs off the total, bringing me down to 16st 6lbs! So I only need to lose at least 6.5lbs to be back down into the 15's! I'm hoping to do this before the easter holidays, as I've finally booked a night away at a hotel in Bournemouth with my good friend Daniel (the man with me in previous pictures) and we've purposely booked a hotel with a pool and a sauna etc so we can have a swim!

Mother and I are going for a nice lunch tomorrow in the New Forest for mothers day, I'm going to try and be as good as I can though, because I want to try and lose every week if I can, even if it's only half a pound, it's still taking me that one step closer to my goal!

Good result

I had a good result last week at weigh in, lost 3.5lbs, and finally back to having lost over a stone! It means that I'm finally getting back on track, and shedding the christmas weight. Only another 5.5lbs to go and I'll be back to the weight I was before christmas, and then another 2lbs and I'll be 16st! I'm dying to get into the 15's, I've been stuck in the 16's for what feels like forever!

I made this a while ago, it's a combination of all 3 of the Gladiators camps I went to. The first was in June and I was at my all time heaviest, the second was a month later and I'd lost almost a stone, the third was in October last year and I was around the weight I am now, I gained about half a stone over christmas sadly.

I'm hoping to take my next one soon, when I get to my 10% goal of 15st 12 lbs, still got just under a stone, but I'm being very good and focused at the moment, so I'm hoping this week for a good solid loss to take me into the mid 16's and on the way to my goal!

Trying to get with it again!

It's been ages since I last blogged, and ages since I last managed to stay on track on my diet, I'm sad to say! Since I started back in August, there hasn't been a week that I've managed to stay totally on track with no slip ups, something has always tempted me away!

So I've decided something really needs to change! A lot has happened since September, I finally managed to get a job, working in a secondary school, which I really love as it's giving me the chance to do new things and meet new people, and I'm pretty much my own boss! So because of that I'm now earning money, I finally bought my own car, and I'm making some new friends! No men as of yet, but I guess it can't all happen at once!

So this week I'm making yet another change! I'm going to a different WW group with a different leader. I've been struggling for months and always felt I had little support from my leader, I partly don't blame her because I've been starting and stopping with her since I was about 17, so I guess she's sort of given up on me, but that's really not what I need, I'm desparate for some encouragement and motivation, not someone who has given up on me before I've even started!

My current goal at the moment is to get out of the dreaded 16's, I've been stuck in them since August, and am at the heaviest I've been for a while, since I put on half a stone I'd spent so long trying to lose before christmas, so I've now lost just over a stone again, and I'm desparate to lose my christmas weight.

I'd love to be able to wear dresses and short sleeved tops by the summer, and not feel embarassed, so I need to get focused again, and get back to the gym!